Turning our attention to tables today. We have a gigantic old pitch pine thing that came from a junk shop about ten years ago and cost £250. It was peanuts cheap for a table that size and is one of the best pieces of furniture in the house.

If we’re being technical it’s slightly too high for any chairs that we have ever been able to find for it. I’m pretty sure it’s an old art school table and should probably have benches but I’m too old to sit on a bench for hours and, while I like the look of benches round a table, I’m not sure it’s inviting to a bunch of old arses such as I and my friends are becoming. Not without cushions anyway.

So we sit on chairs that are slightly too low and the children are growing taller and the parents use the aforementioned cushions and everyone seems happy enough.

But, the point is (I’m getting to it, bear with me, it’s the old arse thing kicking in again) that people are always asking where I got the table from. And it’s no help when I tell them.

Then I found these from The Farmhouse Table Company. And they’re on a similar sort of scale to mine. Possibly even better; you can choose from reclaimed pine, oak or zinc for the top. You can pick the shape of the legs and the colour (from one of those well-known paint companies so you’re familiar with the look) and even the size. The largest goes up to 3m long.

The only slightly discombobulating (good word that) thing is that the measurements are all in feet and inches and I’ve spent so long training myself out of imperial that I actually don’t know what 9ft long is any more. I only know my height in feet and inches, everything else I do metric. So in order to imagine a 9ft long table I have to think of my friend Jason, who is six foot, and imagine him lying down with an extra pair of legs attached to him. Not an exact measurement you will agree.

Anyway, if you need a monumental table, or just a great farmhouse one then this is a good place to start.

And if you want something a bit more tree-like and making a statement how about this? It’s from The Box Furniture and costs £1,800 but look at that dovetailing on the top. And those wonderful metal legs. I already need an extra room for all the fabulous light fittings I keep seeing, now I need an extension to be a dining room for this wonderful table.

I just love the character and detailing on this. So there you have it: kitchen tables. Done.

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